Our Heart is Your Home

"The heart is a sanctuary at the center of which there is a little space, wherein the Great Spirit dwells, and this is the eye...by which He sees all things, and through which we see Him."

Black Elk

Our hearts pump blood. They have to, or there's no show, right? That's what hearts do, but that's not all they do.

Our heart is, in so many ways, at the very center of our lives. It is the seat of our emotions – we actually perceive feelings in, or through, our hearts. Our hearts sustain us, direct us, comfort us. Our heart is an accessible storehouse for our feelings. It's an inspiration through it's action. We don't beat our heart – it can beat without us. In short, our heart creates, forms, and maintains what constitutes the very core of our lives.

I switch to a collective possessive form referring to "our heart," because it's part of the consciousness we share, our collective consciousness. It's part of our shared intelligence, our Eternal, Universal, or Divine intelligence. People who don't share this concept, we perceive as being "heartless" – tragically disassociated from Love, from those aspects of human life that are the most fulfilling and rewarding. They are also most capable of violence. Of selfish and pointless destruction – or of simple pettiness, shortsightedness, and lack of empathy. It's not because they aren't thinking, more often it's because they're thinking too much. With their heads.

"The whites always want something; they are always uneasy and restless. We do not know what they want. We do not understand them. We think that they are mad."

I asked him why he thought the whites were all mad.

"They say that they think with their heads," he replied.

"Why of course. What do you think with?" I asked him in surprise.

"We think here," he said, indicating his heart.

Pueblo Indian, Ochwiay Biano (Mountain Lake) to Carl Jung,

from Memories, Dreams, Reflections

As with everything, to find a better way to think about it, we do need to think about it with our minds. It's a bit of a leap, because our minds often don't understand what our hearts are doing. In fact our hearts have (or should have) a kind of unassailable authority over our minds. We think we should do what our minds tell us to do, but we know we need to follow our heart. By this I don't mean our passions or cravings – not lust, or ambition – but the simple, intuitive intelligence that mysteriously arises from our heart.

As is the case with most mythical, mystical, intuitive, and indigenous knowledge, Science is slowly catching up –providing us with "real proof" of what's long been known to some to be the cognitive and controlling facilities of the heart. Unlike any other part of our bodies, the heart contains a similar intricate cellular structure as the brain; the same neurons, neurotransmitters, proteins, and support cells. The heart is directly linked to the brain, and can control it's electrical activity. Along with being able to independently learn, remember, feel, and sense, the heart can directly enable the brain to acquire certain perceptive abilities, to inspire types of thought, as well as determine our emotional experience.

Medical Science now agrees with "a thinking heart," a heart with a brain, or that is itself a different kind of brain that unites body, mind, and emotions. Exactly how it does this is a mystery to medical science, but for centuries it's been known in Hindu Bhakti Yoga, and Tantric tradition that the fourth heart chakra is the center in humans of the higher self's true intelligence; connection to the field of higher intelligence; the seat of Divine Consciousness; of healing, of compassion; of wish-fulfillment. The spirit brain. The true source of your life's authentic direction, free from all that messy karma our minds can make for us. Our head thinks about our self too much, our heart thinks of others first.

Listen to your heart, to our heart, and let it have the last word – after the barrage of words your mind thinks up. (Some of the worst things I've ever done I thought about a lot first - but I should have listened to my heart). Regard your head as just another (albeit im-portant) extremity, packed with senses perfectly suited for the physical world. Consider your intellect as a ladder, used to transcend itself. But know your heart as the brain that connects you to The Eternal Intelligence that constitutes your true center. Let your heart do all the important thinking for you. It's where your home really is.

"Though the inner chamber of the heart is small, The Lord of both worlds gladly makes His home there."

 Mahmud Shabestari

Check out this site for more information about Heart/Mind science!

Read about concepts like these and much more in: How to Get to Heaven (Without Really Dying), Wisdom From a Near-Death Survivor  from Llewellyn Worldwide available direct on this page, or online. The first book: How to Survive Life (and Death), A Guide To Happiness In This World and Beyond is available the same ways – but ask for it at your local bookstore!

On "Proof of Heaven," and the Skeptics' Hell

There's been quite a hub-bub of late around the release and promotion of Dr. Eben Alexander's excellent new book Proof of Heaven, in which he recounts his own Near Death Experience, and ventures to defend the existence of life after death – even scientifically – supported by his own impressive credentials as a Harvard-educated neurosurgeon. It's much less surprising that a man of science may personally discover our underlying spiritual reality in a transpersonal experience, than that he'd immediately attract a swarm of agnostic skeptics when he speaks out about his discovery.

Notable among the skeptics is Sam Harris; philosopher, neuroscientist and renowned man of reason. His arguments disputing the authenticity of Dr. Alexander's afterlife experience are intellectually cogent and compelling, but undermined somewhat by a mildly pejorative tone – a tone that may suggest his own personal conflicts.

There simply seems to be two distinct kinds of people when it comes to issues of transcendent or "extra-dimensional" awareness – those who have had profoundly transformative spiritual experiences, and those who haven't.
  

For those who have, like Dr. Alexander, there's no longer any need for argument; it's made redundant by the expanded awareness of an intuitive, universal intelligence beyond the limitations of their own thought, beyond their own personal powers of "reason." Those who have not had such a transformative experience simply lack the essential evidence necessary to credibly comment on the authenticity of such realizations by others. They are subject to the limitations of linear, serial (left brain) thinking, and it's tangential, unidimensional conclusions. The "God Part" of their brain hasn't been fully activated, you might say, and so (scientifically) all spiritual experience remains anecdotal.

Denial is the acceptance of ignorance as truth, through force of will, and that force usually issues from two rather self-centered mis-apprehensions in the case of NDE skeptics, one being the old Descartes before des horse, that "I think, therefore I am" assertion that the rational thought process is the medium of all profound truth, and that in it's absence there is only delusional imagination and self-serving ignorance of a sort determined by the mechanical nature of the brain.

That very aspect of human thought betrays it's own presumption, though. It's in the nature of the egoic intellect to reject what  it has had no experience of – as well as to often reject even what it has experienced, if it fails to conveniently fit it's egocentric story of self. The reasoning in such cases is not really based on what's empirical or not, but on underlying issues, and obstacles, of a psychic nature. Like all of us, I'm sure some of the worst decisions Mr. Harris has ever made were very well thought out, while some of the most elegantly effective issued from a source completely outside (even opposite to) the limitations of his dogma and intellect. Keep this in mind: Thought requires consciousness, but consciousness does not require thought. I am, therefore I think is really closer to the underlying truth.

The idea that we can only rely on what investigative science can prove is as archaic as a flat earth, as all major scientific conclusions have only been reliable in that they reliably change, being solely determinable by our capabilities for observation as of today. That's (arguably) where the greatest weakness is in Dr. Alexander's rationale – in his effort to substantiate his experiences in a smaller context that's not equipped to support them. Stringent scientific observations and theoretical analysis of quantum physics indicates relationships between consciousness, matter, and dimensionality that are at odds with concepts of non-faith-based empiricism. Nevertheless, your smartphone and microwave still work pretty well.  Which leads to the second misapprehension:

The presumption that the brain is [not-so] simply an electro-chemical cellular conglomeration whose various states of activity indicate it's capacity for intelligence on different levels – the generator, not the receiver, of consciousness. The observation and benchmarking of where those points of activation are, and what therefore becomes possible within those boundaries of "life" and "death" have to be questioned at least as much as the mass testimony of thousands of NDE survivors through the ages, perhaps justifiably moreso. 

For example, Mr. Harris questions whether or not NDE survivors brains (specifically Dr. Alexander's) are actually dead – entirely devoid of any activity whatsoever – which is a good question all right, but can he demonstrate when that NDE "magical imagination" might begin in subjects who do not survive; and how long it continues in the absence of brain activity? Where exactly is the tipping point of death – especially when it's not entirely known exactly what the brain (or mind) does, and can do? Where is the range of the control group? Can he reliably postulate the moment that an authentic experience of death occurs or doesn't, without resorting to traditional standards of "when they're really dead"? And most importantly here, can the objective observation of a possibly biased observer completely invalidate another individuals personal experience of a different state of being? As has become the establishment norm, 'scientific reason' refutes spiritual experience without any actual evidence whatsoever to support its claims.  

This establishment 'scientific' presumption also describes con-sciousness as being the product of billions of individual cerebral generators, rather than the (scientifically) more likely definition of it as a shared transpersonal field of energetic, evolutionary intelligence; related to the observable quantum or "zero-point" fields. 

There are children who begin writing music at age two, and go on to compose symphonies by five or six. Do their little brains just "snap-to" extra quick, and process all that information at a phenomenal speed, or do they tap into a profound, existing intelligence that informs, enlivens, and animates the consciousness we are unavoidably all a part of? 

Documented beyond apocyrphy are cases of people who have such remarkably specialized intelligence that they undergo study to determine the neurological nature or source of it, only to discover that their brain physiology indicates that they should be absolutely incapable of such intelligence; or of much intelligence at all, for that matter (literally). Then there are people who have perfectly fine brains, but their egoic self-definitions insist that they are intellectually superior in a way that entitles them to judge all varieties of mysterious, "non-intellectual" experiences. These are often the same people that overlook evidence of transpersonal communication, but are still willing to accept quantum uncertainty and entanglement...And then there are questions of animal consciousness – don't get me started.

All of it is clearly a mystery, and so why shouldn't it require experience of a mysterious, mystical nature to better understand the underlying truth of it? After all, I might remind the skeptics that everything we think and know is the result of this little layer of consciousness wrapped around a little planet, floating though limitless outer space.  The original ground of that unimaginably "magical" context needs to inform all of our subsequent intellectual tolerance for what and what is not possible. In fact, it seems far more reliable to assume that Love and Magic are the mediums for this adventure of life than coincidence, reason and intellectual rigor.

In the blog refuting Dr. Alexander's experience, Mr. Harris seems to concede to the necessity for such a mystical experience in order to support his dogmatic criticisms.  He tells a story about a psychically revealing dream he had, before he went to Nepal. I am interested by his approach to conscious realization here. My personal transformational experience came about as a result of years of meditation and study, following my having survived three NDEs. I have no doubt that, given the spiritual depth of the land and its people, a trip to Nepal may inspire significant transpersonal realization. In fact, I think I would have much rather gone to Nepal myself than where I had to go, believe me.  

Equating one particular type of alternate consciousness to another to support an argument seems a bit non-scientific for a man of reason, but using some reason may help describe the difference that I, Dr. Alexander, and millions of other human have realized in our "extra-life" experiences from what Mr. Harris (or any of us) get from dreams. In dreams, I'd suggest our psyches create an entire imaginary world featuring our selves at the center, and so I believe them to be the product of a constrained personal subconsciousness. The suggestion that Mr. Harris was not the center of his dream was his near-transformational moment – a moment of brief realization of the larger consciousness enjoined in NDEs.

My near death experience realizations were of that also, times ten – that I am a part of a larger unified consciousness and intelligence that exists outside (or within... or without...or throughout) my fragile, expendable human body. I had no body, per se. I did not sense the passage of time, or even think sequentially, but instead simply coexisted with knowledge and being. I experienced profound and continuing Love as the medium of continuing Life. Mr. Harris would insist, I'm sure, that I was not dead, and I'd agree completely.  

Mr. Harris, for one reason or another, is compelled to define the transformative experiences of others. Dr. Alexander is spontaneously, intuitively, compelled to share an essential truth that he was surprised to discover for himself, precipitated by one major, transformative spiritual experience in his life – his "death," and subsequent travel into the "afterlife" potential of consciousness. By the expression of their needs you can recognize the degree to which they experience these different levels of consciousness.  Either contained by the harsh demands of their own intellect, or alive in a kind of heaven, guided and inspired by the intelligence of that larger mind, and liberated by the grace of their spiritual source.

How to Get to Heaven (Without Really Dying) is due out early 2018, from Llewellyn Worldwide, is available now! with How to Survive Life (and Death), A Guide To Happiness In This World and Beyond, both are based on lessons (learned the hard way) by a three time near death survivor, and are available everywhere – but ask for them at your local bookstore! 

Happy New Year Right Now, and Happy New Forever

It's kind of funny to say "Have a Happy New Year," as if you can cover the whole thing in that one little felicitation. A lot can happen in a year, and not all of it's going to be happy. But we sincerely wish it anyways, because we really do wish that one another may find happiness in every moment, if possible. And, as impossible as it  sounds, it may not be entirely impossible at all. What if we could collapse time, or extend each moment to the length of a year, so that if that instant could be happy, our wishes for one another would come true? Sound like science fiction? Well, remember we're all on a planet in outer space...

From the most modern physics to the most ancient scripture, the concept that all of time is a seamless, complete field folded in with space is old hat – although it's still kind of a difficult hat to wear when we're sitting here in this one spot, on this planet as we do. It's ironic that about the best way to realize this reality comes from just sitting still in one spot, as we can do almost any time we want to. Because any one of us, in any moment, can find a quiet place – a quiet opening within ourselves – where we can witness that effervescent stillness that bubbles through every instant of life. That's one of the joys of meditation, in case you've wondered about it.

Sit quietly, close your eyes and what do you see? It's not nothing, is it? There's a dance going on in there. An energy that comes at us, and through us, from every direction. From every person, place, thing, event – even from nothing at all. It just is. It even powers our memory and possibilities, too. No matter how skeptical you may be, no one can deny this vibrating energy, dancing through our entire world of inner and outer experience.

When we sit in that moment, and experience just that sense of vibrant being, the clock does kind of stop. That moment can seem to stretch out to an invisible horizon, when we are there – where past and future are only thoughts, and nothing else matters. And it really doesn't, much. Everything material is obviously always in flux, always coming and going, never staying exactly the same for very long. Rustled around on those invisible waves of energy, I suppose. I won't be the same in January, in June, or in November. Nothing here will be...but what about there?

"The common name for God used by the sages is HaMakom, "the place." God is the place of the world, the field in which all things arise and return."

                                        Rabbi Rami Shapiro, on The Pirke Avot 

Of course here is Happy New Year! Happy January 1st, your rent is due. It sounds as if my upstairs neighbor is dropping something heavy every couple of minutes. I swear the guy ahead of me is trying to get in my way. My girlfriend is calling us quits. Someone needs a new job, and it's me. Someone is dying, and that may be me too – or someone I love. Those are the things we may think about, and may have to go through that will keep our year from being completely happy. Those are the difficult parts. Here is not always such a great place.

But just beneath those real events that we have to think about and live through is a greater reality that doesn't come and go anywhere. There is always there – that effervescent stillness, and it's always reliably easy and kind to us. In that place where everything is unshakeably serene, the difficult things in life are just passing thoughts and events that can either be dwelt upon, or gracefully let go of, like everything else on this planet. Time doesn't exist the same way – it's all one. The moment does last "forever."

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing

There is a field. I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about.

Ideas, language, even the phrase "each other" doesn't make any sense."

                                                                    Jalal al-Din Rumi 

All the good things we know and feel come from there, it's just time on this planet, and our silly hijinks that mess them up. Which is okay – they were going to change anyways. But this moment, and what's right underneath it, is always there for us. And there, you can have a happy now, and a happy forever, and an entire Happy New Year. It sounds so easy, doesn't it?

Read about this and much more in the new book: How to Get to Heaven (Without Really Dying), Wisdom From a Near-Death Survivor, which can be purchased on this page or online, along with the first book: How to Survive Life (and Death), A Guide To Happiness In This World and Beyond – or ask for them at your local bookstore!

Politics & Family – Cognitive Dissonance, The Stockholm Syndrome, and the Challenge to Cultural Evolution

If we're ever going to resolve to face the problems of our increasingly divided planet, we'll have to get busy right away. The biggest problem we face isn't just with wealth inequity and the "one percent" we rarely see, it's with the twenty-seven percent of our fellow citizens we know quite well. In fact, some may be friends or family members we must constantly interact with, and it's a real challenge to confront deep pathological divisions with those we ought to love the most.

It's pretty clear that the obstacles preventing cultural equanimity and responsible stewardship of our country and our planet are generated by multinational corporations, whose financial power is based on perpetuating destructively anachronistic systems of resource management and social division. That's quite a mouthful, isn't it? Toppling the entrenched power structure would be a lot to bite off all at once, and couldn't be done quickly without making a real mess, so what's the most expedient way to go about it?

Saying that it starts with you and me may sound silly, since we probably all started changing a long time ago. The real problem we have is in convincing all those beautiful people that don't agree with us. People who for some crazy reason seem to think fascism and environmental destruction are good ideas. Let's start with some awareness about what we're up against, namely certain difficulties that are part of human nature.

Cognitive Dissonance is the official name given to that sad tendency of people to join in efforts and opinions that are actually harmful to their own circumstances, usually to allow them to dissociate from uncomfortable truths. It's kind of a volatile [and dependable] character glitch, and as such is often exploited. Patriotism, religion, racism, xenophobia, financial and sexual insecurities are all activators of Cognitive Dissonance. So you see Washington think-tanks and Wall Street corporate advertisers using them aggressively, and very effectively.

"Ignoring one's...self-interest may seem a suicidal move to you and me, but viewed in a different way it is...a sacrifice to a holier cause."

Thomas Frank, What's Wrong With Kansas?

At it's worst, in terms of the political divisions in our country, Cognitive Dissonance can engender "The Stockholm Syndrome" – the pathological identification of a victim with their tormentors. A 2007 FBI Hostage Barricade Database study indicated that in 73% of abduction and kidnap cases the victims did not develop Stockholm Syndrome, which leaves a very substantial 27% subject to the irrational, self-destructive tendency to side with their exploiters. Not coincidentally, that's quite close to the number of people who identify themselves as Republicans. If you don't, you are part of the substantial 73% majority. (See: FBI Law Enforcement Bulletin, 7/2007, Vol.76, #7)

But what can we do we do to change those minds? You know that when you try to convince someone they're wrong about something obvious, their Cognitive Dissonance kicks in, their warped defenses arise, and there's little chance of moving them an inch. In fact, they feel even more strongly that they are right, and though you may be sincerely trying to help, they become even more convinced that your intentions are subversive and threatening. Unfortunately, a lot of human beings operate from that fearful dynamic, that "partisan pathology." It's a destructive mental illness we haven't quite figured how to cure yet, but the original designers of Fox News, and generations of Republican operatives to follow, have perfected how to manipulate it through ever more media outlets.

So we've got to take a careful, even therapeutic approach – a healing approach; and as healing is a spiritual activity, when we talk about "cultural evolution" we're really talking about our mutual spiritual evolution, which is the source of all the solutions to our deepest challenges. That's where it does start – with just you and me. In short, we use Love, and Time – Compassion, Honesty, Forgiveness...all that good stuff.

Even though a friend or family member has identified with destructive, irrational influences, we do still share mostly common ground with them. Kindly, calmly maintain sane boundaries – stand your ground – but never engage in the energy of confrontation. Let them be right if they need to be, and often in that quiet moment of irrational "victory," the folly of their delusion resonates uncomfortably and gives them a chance to realize the power of your point – that the fault really comes from a manipulative third party that they don't have nearly as much in common with as they have with you. But it all takes time – we can't rush it.

Practice restraint and let things go; but be reliable – Show up for family commitments, remember special occasions, be available to help – expecting nothing in return. Sincerely be there for them (without ever being patronizing), as though it were for a person you were helping recover from a painful injury. Make your arguments subtly, by personally demonstrating that your point of view reflects good character in every other facet of your life, aside from your politics or philosophy.

Caring, consistent, and compassionate action will support any point you want to make much more effectively than a documented factoid or a raised voice. If you can be an example of reason and sanity, then the 99% of what you have in common will solidify in their experience. When we're not trying to win, the calm understanding and honest, fact-based considerations we occupy carry the profound power of a more truthful engagement in life, on every level. The real insanity becomes much more obvious, in comparison to the sanity grounded in spiritual principles.

Ultimately we are dealing with the pathology of trauma and dissociation which is such a profound part of every persons personal karma, which cannot be changed from outside the troubled soul, but only from within – through that person's awareness. Only by applying your own awareness of these complex issues with compassionate identification (life is hard for everyone), soon you may be surprised to find that generosity of spirit can enter the heart and mind of the very person who was at one time so vehemently set against you. With that we might "occupy" the Red States, the less fortunate, the middle class, the upper middle class, the Independents, the "moderate" Re-publicans (are there any left out there?) We might even occupy "The Right" and the 1%... After all – we are all the same thing: the large 73% majority of heart-based "Radical Left-Wingers." 

In the meantime, VOTE like all Life depends upon it!

"Spiritual power moulds physical and material conditions, but spiritual power is never in a hurry.

White Eagle, The Quiet Mind

Here's an excellent article on Cognitive Dissonance and the Stockholm Syndrome by Dr. Joseph Carver



The latest book: How to Get to Heaven (Without Really Dying), Wisdom From a Near-Death Survivor from Llewellyn Worldwide can be ordered direct on this page or online; and the first book: How to Survive Life (and Death), A Guide To Happiness In This World and Beyond is available the same ways – but ask for them it at your local bookstore!

The Nicest Way to Do the Holidays: Smile and Change the World

"None of the means employed to acquire religious merit...has a sixteenth part of the value of loving-kindness. Loving-kindness, which is freedom of the heart, absorbs them all; it glows, it shines, it blazes forth."

The Buddha, Itivuttaka Sutta

That's quite a precise break-down of the power of being nice, don't you think? I wonder how he knew? I tried it out myself at one time and I never looked back, so I'll pass it along to you as something of a challenge: The challenge to show as much sincere kindness as you possibly can to everybody you meet. It's kind of a tall, but not impossible order, and can help quite a lot at this time of year – what with all the demands on your holiday cheer.

Of course The Buddha knew the difference between being spiritual and being religious – that it's a little like comparing apples to Christmas ornaments. Going to church defines you as being a type of "believer," while showing loving-kindness to everyone you meet makes you more of a "practitioner"– after all, in the world we live in you're really less what you look like and think you are, and much more what you actually do and how you behave.

Take this little holiday challenge and try it yourself, from now through the new year, and watch what happens. You'll suddenly find yourself a part of a slightly invisible conspiracy of kindness. Of identification and compassion. Friends you never knew you had will show up everywhere, and then disappear just as beautifully and mysteriously – leaving you with only the one requirement, to continue the chain of kindness.

First you'll be amazed, then you'll wonder, then you'll experiment more intentionally, then you'll probably never go back. It's that remarkably powerful, and will change your world that much. You can't help but be grateful for the really wonderful way people treat you when you show them unconditional loving-kindness. Then you'll find you're happy all the time, because gratitude always precedes happiness.

How does it work so well (sixteen times better...)? Simply because being kind to others takes the focus off of who your (very important) ego thinks you are, and places it on someone else's well-being – which as it turns out is really yours too. It will become easier and easier to show unconditional Love all the time, because Love is all unconditional already – it only becomes conditional when self-importance makes demands of it.

We all want Love and companionship. Compañero. We're all the same person, really. "No we're not!" your ego says, "I'm not at all like Donald Trump!" (God bless 'im) Well, I'm sure that's true, and you may have a bit of a point after all, namely, should everyone get the same lovingly kind treatment, no matter how big of a jerk they are? Well, dammit, ideally yes they should (now that's "tough love"). But if that level of unconditionality is impossible, then let's look for a rule of thumb to go by:

"Undisturbed calmness of mind is attained by cultivating friendliness toward the happy, compassion for the unhappy, delight in the virtuous, and indifference toward the wicked."

Yoga Sutra of Patanjali, 1.33

So three out of four ain't bad. Just don't pay no mind to the nay-sayers of the world. Better yet, see if you can find some Love in your heart for them, because that's how we will all evolve together. We're all becoming more and more able to share in the medium of Love that actually lives just beneath, swims all around, and courses right through us. It's the solution staring us in the face all the time– that reflected look of a stranger waiting for kindness. Gratitude and compassion are the doors to realizing it in every moment, and when we're kind to everyone we meet, all the time, we open up to this force of evolution that's flooding our plane of existence. We're opening the gates to it for ourselves – and for each other.

"Heaven arms with Compassion those whom it would not see destroyed"

The Tao te Ch'ing, 67

And for you competitive types who may see kindness as something of a disadvantage, kindness is actually a winning strategy. There's lots of people out there who've known it all along, you know, usually the people who are enjoying life, and almost always smiling. Compassion doesn't prevent them from being successful – it enables them to find spiritual realization, which is the real definition of success. To remove the obstacles to Love, and to  expand and grow and flow with Life.  Ho ho ho!

Take my holiday challenge, won't you? Turn your frown upside down and look into the nicest mirror you've ever seen...You might never look back.

Happy Holidays!

Read about concepts like these and much more in: How to Get to Heaven (Without Really Dying), Wisdom From a Near-Death Survivor  from Llewellyn Worldwide available direct on this page, or online. The first book: How to Survive Life (and Death), A Guide To Happiness In This World and Beyond is available the same ways – but ask for it at your local bookstore!

Why is Love So Hard to Find When It's Everywhere? Realizing the Obstacles We Create

The idea that Love is everywhere is enough of a challenge since everywhere you look there are terrible examples of "man's inhumanity to man."  But all that sadness really serves to demonstrate where Love isn't, so we are talking about the same thing, really.  It's not that Love isn't everywhere, it's that we are actively creating obstacles to it – in our big, collective unconsciousness ways, and then on a personal scale, in each of our own little heads. 

Why does it happen? Why do we tend to separate ourselves from that one beautiful thing we really want more than anything else? The answer is that we actually train ourselves to do it, a lot of the time completely unconsciously. It's a kind of mental self-sabotage that has a lot to do with our easiest to overlook, biggest challenge – the way we think.

When we train a dog, it's taken for granted that the most effective way to achieve success is through the classic Pavlovian model of conditioning, or Behavioristic approach of rewarding good behavior. Now, so that you don't get offended by my comparing you to a dog, I'll pick on myself. Let's pretend that I'm a dog:

A dog is (I am) hungry pretty much all the time. A tasty morsel to munch on always makes for a welcome repast – and I'm afraid I can personally reward myself that way all too easily. Especially with potato chips, and even when I haven't done anything to deserve it. The dog thinks he's going to eat when the bell rings, and then he eats when he can. With a human like me, on the other hand, when the bell rings, he may begin making elaborate, completely unnecessary justifications for eating the wrong thing at the wrong time. I mean I may do that. Woof.

My dog self, or I'll say my natural self, relates me to the world in a pretty simple, direct way; but my artificial self – my human ego – is almost always seeking some level of nonsensical self-enhancement, or unnecessary self-protection. Most of the time my ego is reacting in ways that were conditioned into me as a child, before I really had the awareness to realize that later on in life, those childhood self-preservation instincts may start working against me instead of for me.

 For example, I was raised in a very unsettled and insecure world, where adults sometimes behaved in inappropriate ways. As a result, I felt unprotected. I assumed a profound unfairness was at work in the world (because it was, in my world) – but that experience constructed obstacles to my ability to see the Love there. Obstacles my ego continues to habitually impose on my life, often with no reason whatsoever, if I let it – just out of habit.

It's my human ego that's being fed, rewarded by the comfort of habitual thought, and the feeling of being right – not my authentic, natural (spiritual) self. I end up reacting to the world subconsciously based on old,  warped childhood instincts. I respond to what I can see as "unfair" situations by automatically thinking that I need to enforce a sense of rightness, a proper sense of fairness in an unfair world, again and again. And, since our world tends to become what we think it is, my "unfair" world continually requires more of my ego reactions – my desire to control things I can't control. 

"As you think, so you are."  "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he."                 

            The Buddha and Proverbs, 23:7 

So when that "bell" rings – a challenge, an affront, a desire – my ego begins to salivate. I can be sent into my irrational behavior over and over, until it's really the only thing I'm really good at. My human ego has built a perfect, very personal obstacle to Love again. So I'll go on and on, missing the point, missing the Love that's alive in everything. Or missing the opportunity to bring Love in where it's most needed.

In Hindu spiritual traditions, these obstacles are called samskaras, from sam meaning "intense," and kara from the root "to do." They're automatic thoughts. Thoughts that think themselves – automatically grounded in the psychic constructions of our earlier life experiences. Whatever we tend to resent, to brood about, whatever kicks up a compellingly dramatic reaction – fearful feelings of victimization or entitlement – those set off samskaras; unnecessary automatic thoughts that can, and will, define our lives. Thoughts that create our personalities, whether we like them or not.

I, for one, would rather be more like a faithful, loving dog than a willful, love-starved human...but how? The great teacher, Eknath Easwaran, compared samskaras to furrows, eroded out of our consciousness by habitual thoughts we let run like little streams. Resentments and desires that cut furrows deeper and deeper into our psychic ground. We have to re-route those streams, and the best way to do that is to start by becoming aware. By noticing how your thinking is following that same pattern that results in an uncomfortable feeling, even when we think we're right. That's the thinking that separates us from the Love that's alive in every body, and in every situation – if we can get out of our own way and allow it to arise.

There is fresh ground in each of our conciousnesses (and so in our collective culture) that we can divert those old streams of thinking towards. Thoughts of acceptance, tolerance, and Love that can gently erode and irrigate happier results in our own lives, and in everybody else's. As always, meditation is how we come to recognize those particular tributaries, and so put our natural, spiritual selves at the helm, heading downstream with the flow of Love.

"...at a deeper level of consciousness, we can learn to go against these conditioned ways of thinking and actually change ourselves from the inside out."

Eknath Easwaran, Essence of the Upanishads

How to Survive Life (and Death)...It's all Miraculous

You can now pre-order the new book, "How to Survive Life (and Death): A Guide to Happiness in This Life and Beyond," from Amazon, although it won't be released by Conari Press until April, 2014.  

It's not another Near Death Experience book, though I had to go through three very different such experiences to get to the place where I could write it for you (so that hopefully, you won't have to do the same). Along with recounting the moments themselves, I describe what I learned from each, and how those lessons transformed my experience of Life from that of a typical participant, to being thoroughly submerged in joy and magic. 

These lessons, from someone who's peeked behind the curtain, can help you navigate all the moments of your life – especially the hard parts (including my three foolproof "Tips for Happiness"). I hope you'll check it out, and that it can help you with everything you're going through, or are going to go through.

I've got good news for everyone who plans on dying, or knows someone who will; as well as anyone who wants to get more out of this life.

Blessings!
Robert

The Paradox of Surrender–When "Losers" Are Winners

The concept of surrender, as we usually think of it, never sounds too agree-able. In fact, It sounds like something to be assiduously avoided. So the suggestion that surrender is really a strategy for gaining a very high order of success seems counterintuitive, to say the least. It sounds as though it may be a justification for under achievers and capitulators. A losers cop-out. But that isn't surrender in the same sense as I'm suggesting.  

To start, let's look at surrender in a different context than as a defeat and painful submission: When everything is going really well, when you're on top of everything, you're not fighting life. You're not having to work at it too hard, not trying to force life to go your way. Why would you? It's already going just fine just the way it is. You're riding on top of the flow of Life, so to speak. You are also completely and happily surrendered. 

We don't usually think of it in this way, because the human ego insistently attaches negative comparisons to what turn out to be positive experiences. For example we're more likely to think "he failed to be promoted at his job," than "he wasn't saddled with that high-pressure job, so he was available for something better when it came along." We may be jumping to a negative conclusion, when he was really lucky to have missed out on that promotion. But when things are going well, we're not attaching any negativity to our ride. We're lucky to be completely surrendered to Life, and much less likely to botch up a good thing. 

Surrender in this sense isn't a capitulation to a lesser outcome, or a submission to injustice. It's a positive action that you can take. By surrendering to the direction your intuitive intelligence is sending you in, by being true to yourself, you can do the right thing without fear. You can stand up to the bully, or the unconscious exploiter with the knowledge that the power of the Universe is supporting you. You're not giving into evil. Just the opposite, in fact. You are naturally elevated above it.

That amazing metaphoric adventure of Hindu mythology, The Bhagavad Gita, explains this distinction in its typically engaging way. The great warrior Arjuna doesn't want to go to war against the armies of his blind, ambitious uncle – against his own cousins, his own family. Capitulation seems almost to be a preferable option. But his chariot driver, who happens to be Krishna (God), tells him that he must surrender to his purpose in life. To be a great warrior, and to oppose injustice and oppression, especially if it comes from parts of himself. Arjuna only need do his best, the greater forces of the Universe will determine the outcome. Of course, good prevails. Surrender is a strategy for winning– for joining your self to the winning side.

This is the answer, the surrender to the metaphysical impulse to transcend the sense of fearful separation from the magical wonder of the world. The answer to finding your true path. Have no fear as to the outcome, just do what your heart tells you is true. Don't force anything, but release into the power and flow of Life. You have to give it up to get it.

The teacher Yeshua suggests over and over that we be like infants. And what form have we ever known that is  more in a state of surrender than our infancy was? Without the separation from the divine that an adult ego insists upon, we are carried through life securely and magically, through no effort on our own part other than simply being. You don't want to act like a baby, but you don't want to act like what's typically thought of as being "grown-up." Serious, controlled. The "master" of your own fate. Surrender to your playful, childlike side; to your curiosity, and humble willingness.

And while you're at it, surrender having to know it all. Surrender having to be right. Take the action and surrender to your hearts calling to oppose evil and injustice. Surrender to your natural birthright – to enjoy the beauty and abundance of this remarkable world, of this miraculous life.

Stay in the source. Surrender to the simple connection that carries you to your greatest potential. Exile your ego. Take that action––the direction of intuitive intelligence, and when it comes to figuring everything out, just give it up!

Read about concepts like these and much more in: How to Get to Heaven (Without Really Dying), Wisdom From a Near-Death Survivor  from Llewellyn Worldwide available direct on this page, or online. The first book: How to Survive Life (and Death), A Guide To Happiness In This World and Beyond is available the same ways – but ask for it at your local bookstore!