Join Robert with Kirsty Salisbury on "Let's Talk Near-Death"

Join Robert with Kirsty Salisbury for this new, light-hearted thought-provoking and entertaining interview

on her award-winning podcast – NDE stories, afterlife conversation, the truth about death,

and how to realize Heaven wherever you are!

Let's Talk Near-Death with Kirsty Salisbury, and special guest Robert Kopecky

Announcing: The Zen of Near Death ©2019

I'm pleased to announce the working title of my next book:

The Zen of Near Death

Afterlife Lessons for Transcending the Mess 

©2019 by Robert Kopecky
Watch for it in 202?

A Halloween Soul Metaphor—The Zombies Among Us

Each Halloween, we get a chance to think a little about famous monsters. The monsters of our childhood. The monsters of our advancing age. The monsters our kids might be for the holiday (or that they may seem to become, sometimes). The monsters that we witness in public life, or that, occasionally, we ourselves can become too.

You may notice that the really famous monsters are scary on a couple of levels. First, on the level of the material imagery; and then on a deeper metaphoric, or spiritual level. Take Frankenstein (please!). He's plenty scary on the obvious material level, but he also makes a pretty scary metaphor – as the manifestation of self-will run amok; the consequences of our wanting to play God with the natural world, with our lives, and with the lives of others. Or Dracula, as a symbol of soul exploitation – people who selfishly suck the life out of other people; or out of Mother Nature, for that matter. Or the Wolfman – the potentially violent beast within us all, unleashed by the uncontrollable cycle of life...a curse he passes along whenever he bites someone else.

So what's up with all the Zombies? They seem to be everywhere these days. Zombies in the movies, on TV, in commercials and videogames – almost everywhere you look, there are zombies popping up. What are we trying to say, on a deeper level, with this zombie fascination? Well, let's take a look (if you dare…)

 Most obviously, zombies are the undead. Inhumane humans who've lost their souls, so the only life they have left is spent unconsciously feeding off the souls of the living. They selfishly grope around for the next bite that's going to fuel their empty search. In that sense, they're really much like unconsciously self-centered people (profit-driven entrepreneurs or mindless consumers), lurching about ineffectively, swarming on any situation where their appetites may be sated. So eternally they flounder around, staggering through a soulless system, driven to find something to feed their emptiness, but only finding more remorseful, bottomless hunger.

They would find their solution – their rest – if they'd just die already, wouldn't they? Symbolically, that simply means "dying" to the empty, ego-driven life of schlepping from one incessant need to the next. Realizing that the death of "who you are supposed to be" and "how it will look to others" in our often soulless, demanding culture will reveal a real peace, and a responsible purpose that may have been hidden right in front of you all along. It's not really about what any single one of us needs – it's about what every single one of us needs: Love, Purpose, Spiritual sustenance.

I'm sorry to point out that the people responsible for all of this zombie programming, sadly, may just be the zombies "in charge" – which gives us another spiritual challenge to face...how do we recognize the undead among us?

Well, zombies couldn't care less about what you think. They're not at all interested in your thoughts on any subject; and what's even worse, they don't give a damn about how anything makes you feel. You're not going to get anywhere by politely asking a zombie not to eat you. Zombies only think about their own delusion of self, and no amount of actual evidence will persuade them to recognize reality, so zombies dare not allow themselves to feel anything except fear or anger (which are the same thing), and expresses itself as hate or entitlement or arrogant bullying. God bless 'em.

Not being zombie-like yourself means opening up to what others think; and more importantly, to how they feel. Relating, sincerely, to one another’s feelings, and by doing so, to share the experience – and the intelligence – of our shared heart-energy. Forgiveness and compassionate consciousness are the only things that can help a zombie re-enter the real world of the living, and the only ways to deal with a zombie, even if – God forbid – we realize it’s ourselves.

I hate to get too graphic, but they do say the only way to kill a zombie is "to kill the zombie's brain," and they may have a good point there (whoever "they" are). It’s very likely that zombies probably think too much with their dizzy, addled heads, and not with their grounded hearts. That’s where the path to restoring a zombie’s soul (or to help a struggling ghoul to find it themselves) must initiate from. It seems like a long schlep, sometimes, that short stretch from the upturned graveyard of the head, to the peaceful, heavenly realm of the heart.

When dealing with a zombie, try to look past that unkempt exterior – the unconscious self-centeredness, the fearful pallor and fugue-like gaze past you, the blood n' guts everywhere. Many zombies are really good at heart, they've simply been made “undead” by a monstrous metaphor ­– ­the Dark Lord of the Unconscious Ego; but look beyond the quickly fading external images, into the compassionate spirit we all share, and you will find the zombie’s struggling heart.

If you fear you’ve become a little zombie-like yourself, simply start living in your soul's life, that's where you’ll find the real, joyful world of the living–not on the shifting horror show of life’s “silver screen.”

And for Halloween, I recommend that you don't go as an orange, flesh-eating  ghoul, or dress your kids that way, either. Instead, go as a fairy, or an angel, or just as the bright, shining light that you really are. Happy Halloween!

"There is a light within people of light, and they shine it upon the whole word. If they do not shine it, what darkness!

The Gospel of Thomas, Logion 24

Read about this and much more in: How to Get to Heaven (Without Really Dying), Wisdom From a Near-Death Survivor  from Llewellyn Worldwide available direct on this page, or online. The first book: How to Survive Life (and Death), A Guide To Happiness In This World and Beyond is available the same ways – but ask for it it at your local bookstore!

What Are Near Death Experiences, Really? Realizations of a Three Time Survivor

Believe me, I never intended to become a “Near Death Experience” survivor, much less to have had it happen three times over the course of my life, but then I suppose anyone who encounters “near death,” encounters it by accident. On the whole people don’t generally plan on dying, even though we know that eventually we’ll have no choice but to add it to our schedule.

It goes without saying that I didn’t actually die—or I wouldn’t be here to tell you about my three trips into “the afterlife;” and obviously, no NDE survivor has actually died and stayed that way—a simple truth that justifies all the skepticism and conjecture surrounding the subject. But we NDE survivors can be a fairly emphatic bunch, given the powerful redefinitions of reality that our otherworldly perceptions have created in our lives. We (who didn’t necessarily choose to become believers) can be prone to dismiss the skepticism of non-experiencers in much the same way as they may dismiss our “paranormal” assuredness.

I make an effort not to do this, because despite having survived three of them myself, I don’t necessarily believe that NDEs are the definitive look into the “next world” that some of us insist on, as much as they are a preview of the potential that may follow this life—for each one of us. I make a special effort to leave my NDE memories as they are, or as they originally were, without further elaboration. I hold to this principle not because newly arising details in those memories don’t seem true and deeply meaningful, but because I know how unreliable the memories maintained (or often generated) by our human physiology can be.

I don’t think that NDEs are really a reliable description of what we should expect after this life, as much as they are a reflection of our spiritual lives (—what may be missing in our current lives), and a door into the truth about how complex all of Life really is. After all, each near death survivor can only report their magical passages from the limited point of view of a human living life on this Earth—not as a fully disinterred, extra-dimensional spirit.

Since the publication of my first book, How to Survive Life (and Death), I’ve also found myself becoming something of an accidental expert. It’s resulted in my spending countless hours in the library and online, pouring over spiritual accounts, ancient wisdom, and neuroscientific explanations. In my travels, I’ve read and heard hundreds of other survivors compellingly heartfelt NDE stories. I’ve even witnessed firsthand some of the miraculously synchronistic gifts of insight and intuition that have been received by this unique group of human beings—and for me this word, unique, has become the operative in describing what’s really going on in the expansive, extra-dimensional world of Near Death Experience.

With my three different experiences myself, and all the stories I’ve come to know, to me the one unavoidable characteristic these experiences share in common is how perfectly tailored they are to each survivors experience of Life. Many NDE events correspond to a set of common motifs. In my three cases they were an out-of-body perspective of my own death, an interview or ‘life review,’ and a forced return back to this life (against my will); but many experiences include encountering the light at the end of the tunnel, an “Elysian” field populated with beloved deceased relatives and friends, a view of the Earth from deep outer space, and other commonly uncommon scenarios. But always, my NDEs aren’t quite like yours may be, and in every case, the nature of the motifs themselves, as well as the narrative details, are uniquely custom-formed to suit the experiencer’s life. As it turns out, even the surprises aren’t really that much of a surprise.

In researching the commonalities of these experiences, one almost immediately discovers that the changeable contents of NDEs are often determined in large part by the predominant religious and cultural expectations of the experiencer. Western Christians meet a Christian God or Jesus, or witness angels in traditional heavenly landscapes. Hindus may meet, and be guided by Yamaraja, the god of death, and be introduced to The Akashic Record that details their karma from life to life. Buddhists often meet Yama, as their guide into the afterlife, who may lead them into a surrealistic exploration of the bardos—the different levels of Life between lives. Jews of different types experience their own particularly appointed, expectation-based hereafters, and so on. Islamic doctrine states that (due to the spiritual limitations of our human form) humans cannot accurately know anything of the afterlife, Muslims tend not to have (or to report) near death experiences. That’s a belief that as an experiencer of three very diverse experiences, I tend to share.

There are a few characteristic features of NDEs that tend to remain consistent: being enfolded within a brilliant, pure white or golden light; “seeing” beings of light; experiencing different ‘sensory’ realms and perspectives; and having a kind of ‘life review’ take place. These aspects tend to be consistent, yet their form, content, and interpretation can be vividly unique to each experiencer. To me, the most important consistency in my stories, and in all the stories I’ve ever encountered, is the experience of the continuing connection and expansion into what I call the field of Divine Consciousness.

You see, in all three of my events (despite not being physically aware of actually having a body), I never stopped experiencing Consciousness (which I now capitalize as a force of Divinity). Like most NDE survivors, I realized a complete and total merging into a greater conscious sense of intuitive, omniscient intelligence, accompanied by an indescribable non-physical sensation of loving wholeness and belonging-to. It’s this continuing expansion into “mind” (possibly exclusive of brain), manifesting into varying spiritual dimensions that informs my understanding of what NDEs really are.

God bless the scientific, materialist skeptics, many of whom base their doubts in the explorations of neuroscience, and the mysteries revealed in the systematic, technological investigation of the brain and its many functions. The challenges they face are that—aside from the fairly direct operations of our physiological machinery, and the organization and distribution of data concerning feelings, facts, and perceptions—they still can’t fully describe exactly what the brain is, or everything it can actually do; nor have they been able yet to really wrap their heads around what Science calls “The Hard Question,” that is, how does conscious intelligence arise out of simple matter?

I think that materialists are absolutely right in their assertion that NDEs are abstract perceptual phenomenon resulting from the brain not being completely dead. After all, this is a pretty abstract Universe (floating around out here in outer space), and abstraction often leads us to our most accurate and dearly held truths; and more importantly, I don’t believe any NDE survivor would suggest that their brain (as we experience it) completely died, a well-known exception being the wonderful Dr. Eben Alexander, a neuroscientist who is understandably compelled to investigate all the academic imperatives. The rest of us would simply acknowledge that we went on “thinking,” and “seeing” in what we call the afterlife (as did Dr. Alexander).

This is simply because despite the implied “physiological death” of our human brains, our mind itself does not die—instead, most of us experienced a kind of incorporation into a greater mind, into an expansive, organizing, Consciousness-based intelligence—a kind of matrix of potential experience. This is another important consistency common to all NDE survivors, despite their religious and cultural associations.

Our brain, as the organ that interprets our experience can only speak to us through the ideas and imagery we know and can express as humans. As a material machine, the brain is a real mystery, but that mystery opens up a lot if we think of the brain as being a spiritual machine. If the brain is actually connecting us to a field of Divine Consciousness as human physiology dictates (rather than generating all experience out of new material), then the ideas and images of all experiences—including the near death variety—conform to the typical pattern recognition that enables us as humans to organize the worlds we experience, and to report on them.  

In the near death state—free of the constraints imposed on us by human form, our consciousness is free to expand and be expressed in Divine Consciousness as our karma requires, and allows. Good karma can deliver heavens to you, bad karma can send you into hells.

We can be conceived of then as (I believe our spiritual selves to be)  packages of timeless karmic data—amorphous kinds of energetic information clouds with feathered edges that exist projecting back from our physical embodiments into our past, and forward into our futures, overlapping and interacting with other such packages in a timeless, unseen field of pure, unrealized potential. In near death, we enter this unrealized field of Divine Consciousness unconstrained at last, and perceive what our karmic form memories, and our imaginations, uniquely manifest for us. Many of these perceptions will still conform to the pattern recognitions of our changing forms as we report on them as humans.

From this opening-up into extra-dimensional, spiritual potential, the current scientific evidence begins to cascade into place. As wholly energetic phenomena—as quantum packages of karmic data—the changing states of “our selves” can best be described by thermodynamics—as energy simply changing forms; as well as by quantum mechanics. The medium (the “ether” apart from Time and Space) that we exist in can be described as the quantum, Planck, or “Zero Point” fields, hosting the attractor energy patterns of nonlinear dynamics, where each conscious receiving/transmitting/projecting energy participant manifests shared and personalized realities from the field of Divine Consciousness common to all Life in the Living Universe, as in Dr. Karl Pribram and David Bohm’s Holonomic Brain Theory (the holographic universe). Our shared patterns of life are relatable to Rupert Sheldrake’s “morphogenetic field” theory of like physical forms sharing quantum energetic information, and spontaneously generated in unison along the lines of Dr. Stuart Hameroff and Dr. Roger Penrose’s proposal for the collapse of “mind” energy waves into matter at the quantum level of infinitely small quantum tubules. (Forgive my haphazard simplifications of these complex scientific theories).

That paragraph of scientific possibility only goes so far to describe what’s behind the scenes we relate as the memories of our experiences. The actual language of words and images (archetypes) we use can be described by Dr. Carl Jung’s theory of the collective unconscious, a framework of shared, extra-dimensional data that fits into all of this abstract theory very well. We draw on our shared wellspring of descriptive imagery to relate to one another the uniqueness of our experiences.

Add to this the latest discoveries of neuroscience given us by way of The Blue Brain Project, a major Swiss-based study that digitally recreates the biology of the human brain as accurately as humanly possible. It’s most recent investigations into the synaptic neural connections at work in our perceptions of the world we live in (as detailed in Frontiers in Computational Neuroscience) utilize the mathematical field of algebraic topology to create a more accurate mapping of this activity. They’ve revealed a previously unnoticed, remarkably ‘spiritual’ reality—the spontaneous neural formations that determine our perceptions, while only measured (or considered) in terms of three dimensions, actually take place in up to ­eleven dimensions.

 No wonder MRIs come up short. No wonder the manifold workings of the human brain remain so mysterious. This is evidence that comes as no surprise to people who are informed by spirituality as well as by science.

With this in mind, we can see that the contents of our Near Death experiences may simply be based on the interaction of our personal ‘karmic energy packets’ of quantum information within the transpersonal, nonlocal field of Divine Consciousness (Brahman to a Hindu, emptiness to a Buddhist, The Kingdom of God to a Christian), resulting in our participation in dimensions populated by other energy beings and states coexisting there (our “next world”), and perfectly customized to the data contained by each experiencer’s karmic self—our souls.

Then, the imagination and illusions that we experience here in this life on Earth (what the Hindu Vedas refer to as maya, or “The Play of Life”) don’t end at our physical death—as our near death peeks behind the curtain demonstrate so spectacularly. Some people may behold heavenly landscapes, talk intimately to an estranged, long-lost relative, ride a golden butterfly with the spirit of their unborn sister, witness interactive timepieces from their past, chat with Jesus, or experience a variety of momentous (or even mundane) scenarios—much of which can be witnessed in psychic episodes here in this life—and all of which is entirely true to the experiencer.

And what always does hold true in Near Death Experiences (as it did in the three I survived myself), is that each one was custom-designed by my own spiritual, karmic information, expressly for me to realize, expressly for me to learn from.

By this simple, Divine process, every moment of every life we live is working for our spiritual evolution in the very same way. 

Read about this and much more in: How to Get to Heaven (Without Really Dying), Wisdom From a Near-Death Survivor from Llewellyn Worldwide available direct on this site, or online. The first book: How to Survive Life (and Death), A Guide To Happiness In This World and Beyond is available the same ways – but ask for it it at your local bookstore!

Don't Be Afraid of Your Fear of Death (An Excerpt)

I talked a little about "scary" stuff back at the beginning, and that darn elephant is no doubt still in the room with us. Did you happen to notice that huge, quivering pink creature in the corner?  It's just our old companion, Fear.  

Fear is like a bad relation who shows up uninvited and moves in with you for an unspecified length of stay. Or just comes walking out of the guest room unexpectedly one morning, scratching his heinie and asking what's for breakfast. You don't want to have to feed him, but it's always hard not to when he moves in like that.  After all, it's only the human thing to do.

If I knew how much time I'd spent in my life fearing things that never happened, I would be stunned, I'm sure. It would be one of those statistics like how much time I've spent stuck in traffic, or what percentage of my life I've slept in total.  

At this point, I've probably spent years fearfully worrying about one thing or another. Yet when I think back on it, a good 98 percent of what I was worried about never came to pass. And if the other two percent did come to pass, it just kept right on passing without too much consequence—or even left me better off than before.

Sometimes, my fears were answered (especially if I was helping them along, as usual) or small fears came out of nowhere and suddenly became unjustifiably huge and seemingly insurmountable. But then even those dark, looming threats turned into something self-imposed and imaginary—not based on anything real. But Fear certainly can feel plenty real, especially when a fearful situation appears on the horizon ahead, or suddenly and unexpectedly seizes you by the neck.

Still, the one thing that has remained true at the end of all those fears is this:  At least now—in this moment—I am still here (as well as can be expected) and things are okay. So I know those fears weren't as real as I am. And if you're with me now, reading this book, you are more real than those fears too. Yet even with this understanding, this wisdom of everything's being just the way it's supposed to be, it's still very difficult not to let fear rent space in my head.

It seems to be even tougher to accept that Fear has almost always been good for me, because it's forced me to take some action that I'd been needing to take for some time. That's actually been the most real aspect of fear in my life. Then, simply recognizing the actions that I needed to take helped deflate the fear, and actually taking those actions gave me relief and renewal, and often took me to a new level of consciousness that I had never expected to find in such a "dark" place.

I imagine I would've been afraid of my Near Death Experiences, if I'd known they were coming. But I didn't. Unless we're very old, or very ill, or find ourselves in a very dangerous place, I don't think we ever see a chance of it coming. In any case, it never serves us to make up scary scenarios about death. Instead, you might try inventing something based on my testimony, as long as we're making things up. Like there's a good chance you may not even know when death is happening, or feel it much when it does; or that it may come quickly, as a pleasant, or even amazing thing.  So, as usual, much of that preliminary fear is not necessary at all.   

Occasionally, however, fear really is necessary—especially if you're being chased by a bear, or, God forbid, by a crocodile. I hate that. Now that's real Fear. But if there isn't a bear chasing you, then what you really fear when it comes to death is probably just the “Great Unknown," and that's understandable too.

What has always been the biggest question when it comes to accepting an unknown? Will it be good or will it be bad—right?  Am I going to be better off after this or not?  I've got a very simple answer when it comes to this one particular unknown: From my personal experience you have nothing at all to fear, except the harsh, but temporary, discomfort we might all have to expect in such a case. In the larger context, your outlook is excellent. If you're in the midst of unpleasantness and pain, the moment immediately after your transition you will instantaneously feel great—completely free of any of the painful physical circumstances that led up to that moment. And, on top of that, if your spiritual condition is already good here, everything will be downright delightful "there." If it isn't, you'll have a chance to improve it, since that is always the nature of the process. So the answer to your big question, "Will I be better off after this?" Is this:  Yes,  you will.

Of course I can only speak from my personal experiences. But keep in mind that thousands and thousands of people have gone on the record on this matter, and report incredibly wonderful things after their transitions. In fact, more often than not they have reported ecstatic releases, joyful reunions, and transcendent surroundings. They have reported experiences of a miraculous nature.  

Yet there are some rather bad reports as well. For example, my third experience was much darker than my first, or my second. But I believe that was because I'd become more and more blocked from Love in my life, and was carrying almost nothing but self-centered fear.  In one way or another, I believe that's the case with anyone who has a dark, or in some way hellish, transition. My experience didn't last long enough for me to delve deeper into that darkness, thank God; but I do understand a little something about Hell, having definitely touched on a bit of it myself. 

If you're living in that kind of self-centered fear in this life that I was, without Love in your heart, you're probably living in a kind of hell already.  Hell, as compared to how nice life can be.  Heaven is an open-hearted world full of Love and light; Hell is a self-centered world without it.  It is always so.


Excerpted from the book: How to Survive Life (and Death), A Guide To Happiness In This World and Beyond —now available everywhere, but ask for it it at your local bookstore!

Why Do We Have to Die?

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”  Lao Tzu

I have the dubious distinction of having "died" three times, experiences I definitely don't recommend; and obviously, I didn't really die because I wouldn't be talking to you now. What I did do was to survive three "Near Death Experiences," each one completely different from the other; and since my books about it (and more), How to Survive Life (and Death) and How to Get to Heaven (Without Really Dying) were published, I've found myself answering a lot of questions about what death is, what it's like to die, and to the point of this piece: Why do we have to die?

Well, apparently I came back to give you some good news, and some bad news, all based on my (painfully obtained) understanding of it. The good news is that we don't really die, spiritually speaking, we only die to this life of flesh and bones and blood (but many of you suspected as much, I'm sure). The bad news is that we do have to die – our souls seem to require it. On top of that, we have to die in a number of different ways, none of which are all that pleasant, and all of which seem designed to accomplish the same thing. Here's what I mean by that:

If you've ever been around a loved one who's dying, or if you've ever been gravely ill or injured yourself, you know that there's no bluster left in your game in those moments. No claim to fame or fortune remains at all relevant in that grounding bubble of unfortunate reality. What's realized then is a state of absolute humility, where there's no longer any external importance attached, no pretense of "winning"–even though you really are, in a way, because you're free. That state of absolute humility is really a state of grace. You are reduced to the simplest condition of egoless selfhood – the state of simply being who you really are.

Counterintuitively, from that point on everything becomes possible, because in a way, you're starting over. In the grand–call it cosmically spiritual–picture, this happens in a big way when you actually physically die (reincarnation-wise, that is). But first, let's look at the other ways, the other "deaths" our souls require. Let's consider the 'living deaths' that also cause us to regenerate a new, unavoidably more authentic life. Let's look at the difficult times that lead us to be "born again" in this life.

When we witness the death of our family or friends. When a lover or spouse has a change of heart, and decides that they have to leave us and move on to their own new life. When a job or serious expectation we have suddenly, unexpectedly vaporizes – these are all "deaths," of a sort, that cause us to reconsider who we thought we were, and to consider anew who we may have to be from here on. Each death of this sort opens us up, strips us down, and makes us teachable about how we can change and improve our lives on that most important spiritual level – unattached to the material definitions and expectations that have failed to make us happy.

When we learn those hardest-of-all lessons – that our material, ego-based outsides aren't what's really important; when we "die" to that superficial sense of ourselves, and let go of who we thought we were, we instantly expand into Consciousness, and it suddenly becomes possible to become who we all authentically are – not as separate, searching individuals – but instead as loving, giving, creative, contributing pieces of a divine wholeness. Expressions of a single, love-based reality.

Now, let's get back to when we actually die physically. According to the Tibetan Buddhist monks (who really do know all about this stuff), if we don't learn these lessons on a spiritual level, and continue behaving like human animals, delusionally feeding from one desire to the next, we'll be reincarnated as a wild beast, most likely. In the meantime, we'll destroy ourselves, each other, and our planet. Quite a setback on either count, you can be sure.

When I had my experiences I lost my earthly body, and I lost my material identity, but I never lost Consciousness. Instead, I was folded into it. In two of my three NDEs, a new life effervescently expanded around me, I was liberated from the constraining limitations of the material life, and seemingly anything became possible. 

So, I'm afraid we do have to die to this difficult form – in a number of difficult ways. That's the deal here, this is a difficult life. But if we, in a way, embrace death – our many "little" deaths and our one "big" one – they will liberate us to our new, unimaginably amazing and wondrous potential, in this life or our next.

And that (I have learned, the hard way) is why we have to die, and have to keep dying. Our souls require it to merge us into our greater life in Love and Consciousness – into a life beyond our wildest dreams.

"Without a dying to the world of the old order, there is no place for renewal, because…it is illusory to hope that growth is but an additive process requiring neither sacrifice nor death. The soul favors the death experience to usher in change."

James Hillman, Suicide and the Soul

So it does appear that our souls "favor," even require, these 'death' experiences to enter the state-of-being that we think of when we think of "Heaven" —you've got to die to go to Heaven, everyone knows that. And everyone has had a taste of "Heaven on Earth" at one time or another in their life, so we know it is possible to find it here and now (in a much easier way...). We look into the guides to getting there in: How to Get to Heaven (Without Really Dying), now available from Llewellyn Worldwide.

Read a related article: Suicide and the Superficial Self, at Gaia's "Spiritual Growth."

The latest book: How to Get to Heaven (Without Really Dying), Wisdom From a Near-Death Survivor from Llewellyn Worldwide can be ordered direct on this page or online; and the first book: How to Survive Life (and Death), A Guide To Happiness In This World and Beyond is available the same ways – but ask for them it at your local bookstore!

Life, Death, and Baby Boomers––an Excerpt

"I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."

                                                                    

                                              Woody Allen 

When I mentioned the quote earlier that Life doesn't happen to you, it happens for you, I think that without a doubt the same is true for death. Death doesn't happen to you, it happens for you (unless you are eaten by a crocodile; that could not possibly be for you). We're all part of a much bigger set of ongoing considerations––the big picture I'm asking you to see as the context of your life. 

In particular, we need to escape that one self-centered cultural definition that's leading us so far astray––that death is our obliteration. The sad, absolute cessation of Life. The final chord of a sonata that starts wonderfully well, but ends in a dirge. That idea that we only have "one go-round," "one shot at it," and then "the party's over." There's a selfishness (a "sinfulness") in that definition that prevents us from living well, from showing up for each other with the proper compassionate presence. It's a self-centeredness that insists we should be getting something we want out of it all and each other when, instead, we could be forming true partnerships with one another––an understanding global fellowship of shared human experience––and creating a sane stewardship of life here on Earth. When we can get ourselves over this delusional assumption of self-importance, we can create a much less "sinful," more evolutionarily responsible, way of living.

If we know we're missing the mark with the cultural definition of death––one that leads to the fear of losing what we want to hang on to and the "I've gotta get mine before it's all over" approach––then what is a more realistic definition? What's the proper direction in which to aim our lives? Well, Shakespeare's always good for a few spiritual bull's-eyes, like this one: Death is a consummation most devoutly to be wished! So we can see death as a lifelong goal that we struggle to attain––one that we want to meet with preparation, with humility and honor, and with open-hearted promise. It is our matriculation of sorts.

Speaking from my own experience, death is an expansion into transcendent being, for crying out loud. We need to restore death to it's rightful place as a sacred ritual of passage. Let's get kind of Egyptian with it again. Don't mourn me; send me off with an open heart and a song!  This party is definitely not over.

It's absolutely essential that we show up for each other with this positive, life-affirming definition of death as a continuation of always being present. Contrary to what Woody Allen might request, you must never take a raincheck for anyone's dying. (That's the only "must" in the book.) While we supposedly have much busier lives than ever, that's just an illusion caused by technology. The really important parts of our lives are still what's really important. Put the business aside. What technology is best suited for is efficiently arranging our lives around those important people and occasions, so that we can maintain close contact with the loved ones involved in all of our momentous life events––making the appropriate reservations, booking the trip, and being there; contributing whatever you possibly can; showing up in a way that honors Life's real connections of the heart; bringing Love right up to the surface, front and center where it belongs. Again, it's not about me; it's about we.

Notice how when we're "coming to the end" of our time in this life with someone we love or for ourselves, just how precious and how special that remaining time together suddenly is. How intensely focused our love and appreciation for each other becomes in those few moments that are left. We need to try to treat each other that way all the time, and grow spiritually together in that kind of Love. We need to recognize the eternal in each other, always. That's what's really important here; everything else is a distant second place. These may be lofty ideals, granted, but pursuing them throughout our lives is time well spent, and leads to a sense of fulfillment that can never be matched in any other way.

From the time we reach that more adult perception we start to come upon as teenagers, to the time we lay ourselves down, our essential spirit remains generally young and energetic––especially in pursuing our passion for Life. It's just our bodies that atrophy, that break down and require costly repairs––or that just quit running. Our spirits, our eternal selves, always feel youthful. They're always ready to keep growing upward and onward, and so they do. That essential part of us can only collapse under the weight of selfish self-centeredness and that oppressively off-the-mark definition of death––and the negative effect it can have on the last third of our lives––when we permit those attitudes to define us as limited.

  

The truth is that we always have that unflappable, limitless hope that comes along with youth. Just scratch the surface and, like Love, it's always there. We've also got all that blind faith that we don't hardly notice enough even to take for granted when we're young. And, although it seems somehow harder to come by as we age,  there's also more evidence of that faith as we grow older. Hope, and faith are real working spiritual mechanisms that are always alive, and always will be in all of our lives.  And if you just add grace to those two, then you've got my three favorite names for girls.

Read about this and much more in: How to Get to Heaven (Without Really Dying), Wisdom From a Near-Death Survivor  from Llewellyn Worldwide available direct on this page or online. The first book: How to Survive Life (and Death), A Guide To Happiness In This World and Beyond is available the same ways – but ask for it it at your local bookstore!

A Special Offer for the Art of Dying Conference at the NY Open Center!

Here's a very special offer for my readers for the upcoming Art of Dying Conference, April 24th–26th 2015, at the NY Open Center!

The New York Open Center is hosting a fantastic conference that explores spiritual, scientific and practical approaches to death and dying.  Speakers include Eben Alexander, Thomas Moore, Robert Thurman and many others. I have managed to secure a rate of $350 for the 3 day event (normal rate $595) for readers of my blog but you need to act now to secure these savings. 

 Please visit www.artofdying.org for more details and to register please call 212 2192527 or email registration@opencenter.org and quote Robert Kopecky group rate.



The book: How to Survive Life (and Death), A Guide To Happiness In This World and Beyond is now available everywhere, but ask for it it at your local bookstore!